Since most of us have lives on the weekends, I have been seriously slacking on posts. Mainly, because someone usually picks me up to go look at houses at 8 a.m. and we never get back from our journeys until 11 p.m. and then I’m just so exhausted the thought of seeing what Paris Hilton‘s crabs are doing is just too much. So, in case you are here but maybe missed something, here’s a look at things that happened on Gravy and Biscuits this week:

In G&B News:

We got a new writer this week! Meet Chris Illuminati, a man who is secure enough in his manhood he whole heartedly admits his crush on Michael Phelps.

In Jebbica News:

Two weeks ago I was a long-haired brunette with really cheap rent. Today I am a short-haired blond with very expensive rent and an eviction notice. Don’t worry, I’ll put my cardboard box up next to a Panera Bread so I can still blog. Want to know more about me? Read my latest personal blog.

In other gossip…

There may be a tape of underage teens Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas dry-humping. Pedophiles can buy it on sale for $29.95! Of course, the company is not liable for any bail you might acquire or anything Chris Hansen does.

Women are starving themselves and their unborn babies in hopes of staying thin. It’s called pregorexia, and it’s all the rage among Hollywood starlets! Bonus points if you can stay in your size 2 while preggers with twins!

40 Year-Old Virgin actor Shelley Malil stabs his girlfriend over 20 times. Hey, he had to get remembered somehow, right?

Fun office pool! Bet how long Peaches Geldof stays married to that dude from Chester French.

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