Gravy and Biscuits

The Olsen Twins Lose One Million Dollars

Posted by Gravy Guest in Friday, May 23rd 2008

It’s a sad day, America. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, the beloved little actresses that played annoying Michelle on Full House are losing nearly 1.5M in a real estate deal. Perhaps in a move to assure sale of said domicile, they opted to drop the initial 11.9M figure to a paltry 10.45M. Fret not fearful leaders, they still have their massive Twin Empire so they won’t be sleeping at the homeless shelter anytime soon. (On a fashion note, does anyone else think that often times their fashion choices seem oddly reminiscent of a vagrant? The potato sack dresses are SO ‘07. But hell, the Olsens have more money than I could ever hope to have and one of their paper bag frocks is surely worth more than everything I own. Sigh.)

It seems that the ladies and their staff are not the most respectable of tenants.

A former neighbor of the starlets tells the New York Post, “The bodyguards in their SUVs are always getting in the way of our alternate-side parking routine. You’d think the president was living here.

Interesting. Why does nobody get it? THEY ARE IMPORTANT–JUST GET OUT OF THE F****ING WAY!

Another don’t worry moment: their new place across town is a comfortable 12K/mo. brownstone. They’ll have plenty of space for which to store their big buckled paper sack minis, bejeweled hoop earrings, and red-soled Christian Leboutins.

And for any future neighbors of The Twins, RESPECT THE PARKING!