Gravy and Biscuits

In Case You Missed It, the Brangelina Twins are Here!

Posted by Jebbica in Monday, July 14th 2008

In case you were one of the few people who actually have lives during the weekend, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie welcomed their precious angelic twins on Saturday. What? People might actually have been out doing stuff and not sitting at home waiting for the moment for our new saviors to arrive? Surely you jest!

And where was I this weekend, where I couldn’t be one of those people anticipating the babies’ arrival? Still house hunting! Checking out more “great bargains” that look so good on paper…a big house that’s being redone on a ton of land in a great location for a great price! And then we get there, and the inside looks like something from a 1930s horror film. Gutted on the inside. Pet piss rotting the floors. Fleas biting at your ankles. Four months of giving up our weekends for the search, and we are still coming up empty-handed. I thought this was the buyer’s market! I guess it is, if you don’t mind buying a house that’s going to fall down on you as soon as you turn the water on. Assuming there are actually pipes.

Brangelina named their twins (a boy and a girl) Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline. I like Knox for a name, but Leon? It would have been prettier if they had reversed the letters and named him Knox Noel. I’m just sayin’!

The city of Nice, France, was beside themselves and held a press conference to show off the birth certificates. The mayer, Christian Estrosi, said: “On behalf of the inhabitants of Nice, I congratulate the happy parents, the most famous couple of the world who have chosen our city for this happy event. I also congratulate the four brothers and sister of the newborns who are [history won’t forget it] real ‘Niçois’ (’citizens of Nice’).”

Okay, I understand and congratulate them for giving birth to healthy, happy twins. But in the end, they’re just babies. They poop and cry, just like everyone else!